listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
i wish my penis had a tongue
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You need Xanax blowdarts
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
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