That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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