So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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