Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
