if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
Randomize
