tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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