I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
