You work out of a Hotel?
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
