once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
