I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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