I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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