Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
