She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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