So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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