I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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