Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
