I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
