what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
