Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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