Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
