Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
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