dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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