I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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