I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
