at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
This is my life. Enjoy the view
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
