He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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