Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
