if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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