True but thats because hes a fetus.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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