I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize