so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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