If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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