when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you didnt know i had herpes?
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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