I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
