i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
