oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Randomize