Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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