So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
