If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Randomize
