This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
