dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
