i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
