you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Randomize
