Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
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