Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
