Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
