so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
