Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My pussy is not your playground.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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