I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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