i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
