My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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