$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
