Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
