sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
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