I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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